So I think I was off on my last post.... I said twenty days but it was actually 21.
Yesterday I had an appointment with my favorite person, Bonnie (she’s awesome). She listened to his heartbeat and said he’s still got great oxygen flow. His heart rate was 150! Then she checked and I am 2 cm dilated! Yay! She told me I could stay at 2 cm for a while. I don’t care though, at least something is happening! I really feel like it’s going to be soon though. I am still having a lot of contractions and last night was the first time that they were bad enough to actually wake me up. I think he should come this weekend/next week lol. I’m ready and I think he’s ready too. Every time I have a contraction he goes nuts...poor little guy.
I still have a few things left to do that I have purposed in my mind to accomplish this weekend…
1. Finish folding his clothes
2. Finish packing the hospital bag
3. Hang the rest of the stuff on the walls in his room
4. Put the stroller in the trunk
Then we will be finished and officially ready :)
Last night Danny and I stopped at the grocery store to pick up some things for the Youth Fall Harvest Party tonight. While we were there I ran into someone who used to work out at Curves. She is my age and we always got along really good. She has a little boy now who is almost two and is so cute. I had talked to her right after he was born and she told me she was a stay at home mom and loving it. I asked her yesterday if she was still at home and she said, “Oh yeah, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I thought about her and others who have been given the opportunity and it touched me. God continues to show me his love and mercy through others. Just when I need uplifted and some encouragement, it came. The song Nothing Is Impossible has really been on my heart all morning. What he’s done for others He can do for me. We serve an incredible God who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). His love is never ending and His faithfulness is overwhelming to me.
Nothing is impossible when you trust in God
Nothing is impossible when you lean upon His Word
It is no secret what God can do
What He’s done for others, He’ll do the same for you
Nothing is impossible when you trust in God
Friday, October 9, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
20 Days
Twenty????? That seems so close. God knew I needed that feeling today. I have not slept at all the past few nights and my hands just ACHE non-stop. And if those annoyances weren’t enough, the contractions seem to get worse and worse. I feel like this will never end. But then I look at how many days are left and I’m like, I can do this for another 20 days if I have to. I know though that tonight when I can’t sleep (again) I will be done and want him out now lol.
I was supposed to have a dr appt today but they called and rescheduled for tomorrow. I PRAY that when I get there they will tell me that I’m dilated. I need to see some progress lol. The one positive thing about going tomorrow is I get to see my favorite midwife, Bonnie.
Gotta keep it short today because I have to go work in the library in a few minutes but how can I close this without giving God praise? For His goodness and His mercy…for this beautiful day and even the yummy lunch I had lol. He knows our desires! I can’t wait until He works out the largest desire of my heart. It burns within me and gives me joy. When I think about the blessed opportunity that could be afforded to me I am overwhelmed! I know He’ll work it out and I’m patiently waiting to see His beautiful ways of unfolding things. He is good.
I was supposed to have a dr appt today but they called and rescheduled for tomorrow. I PRAY that when I get there they will tell me that I’m dilated. I need to see some progress lol. The one positive thing about going tomorrow is I get to see my favorite midwife, Bonnie.
Gotta keep it short today because I have to go work in the library in a few minutes but how can I close this without giving God praise? For His goodness and His mercy…for this beautiful day and even the yummy lunch I had lol. He knows our desires! I can’t wait until He works out the largest desire of my heart. It burns within me and gives me joy. When I think about the blessed opportunity that could be afforded to me I am overwhelmed! I know He’ll work it out and I’m patiently waiting to see His beautiful ways of unfolding things. He is good.
Monday, October 5, 2009
23 Days
Still no Dallas *sigh* but he has to come in the next month lol. So, that’s a relief. I have a doctor appointment on Wednesday, hoping they’ll be able to give me some idea of whether it’s sooner or later. They already told me they thought it would be “sooner” but you know how that goes. I think they just try to get your hopes up sometimes. I can’t decide what I’m looking forward to most about not being pregnant….sleeping on my stomach, having feeling in my hands again, not feeling the bathroom is my second home, or not being so swollen. I think I really just want Dallas. I want to hold him and see him. That's what I'm looking forward to the most.
This weekend we got a lot accomplished (YAY!). We finished running errands which took almost all day Saturday. We got the car seat all hooked up in our car, it looks so cute! Then last night we got one wall in his room finished. We put up wooden letters that we spray painted black. They letters spell out his name. It looks so good. Even better than what I was expecting. All that’s left to do is to finish folding his clothes and put them away. It will be so nice to be 100% finished!
This morning I had a seriously awesome experience. This whole weekend I was feeling slightly discouraged. I felt like things weren’t really coming together for me to be able to stay home. I started doubting and trying to take things into my own hands, thinking “Oh, maybe I could do this….or that.” And of course, no matter how I looked at it, it really wouldn’t work and the things that seemed to work, defeated the purpose. This morning I woke up so extremely depressed. The discouragement from the weekend had grown and I could no longer see God’s hand in anything. I got myself up and got ready. I was downstairs making our lunch for today and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had not felt so down in such a long time. I asked the Lord, “Why? I don’t want to feel this way but I can’t see any solution.” On our way to work a beautiful spirit came over me and I have no doubt in my mind that what came over me was not from God himself. He reminded me of what Karissa said in service last night, about His eye being on the sparrow. How much more does He care for us? He reminded me that even though I have been drawing closer to Him that I have developed a spirit of contentment and that I should not be content with where I am in my relationship with Him, that He wants to be even closer to me. And finally, He reminded me that I have brought this discouragement on myself by doubting Him. That He is in control and He is working. I cannot express the feeling of relief and joy that came over me. He is truly amazing and His mercies are new each morning. I am in awe. Oh, how He loves us.
This weekend we got a lot accomplished (YAY!). We finished running errands which took almost all day Saturday. We got the car seat all hooked up in our car, it looks so cute! Then last night we got one wall in his room finished. We put up wooden letters that we spray painted black. They letters spell out his name. It looks so good. Even better than what I was expecting. All that’s left to do is to finish folding his clothes and put them away. It will be so nice to be 100% finished!
This morning I had a seriously awesome experience. This whole weekend I was feeling slightly discouraged. I felt like things weren’t really coming together for me to be able to stay home. I started doubting and trying to take things into my own hands, thinking “Oh, maybe I could do this….or that.” And of course, no matter how I looked at it, it really wouldn’t work and the things that seemed to work, defeated the purpose. This morning I woke up so extremely depressed. The discouragement from the weekend had grown and I could no longer see God’s hand in anything. I got myself up and got ready. I was downstairs making our lunch for today and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had not felt so down in such a long time. I asked the Lord, “Why? I don’t want to feel this way but I can’t see any solution.” On our way to work a beautiful spirit came over me and I have no doubt in my mind that what came over me was not from God himself. He reminded me of what Karissa said in service last night, about His eye being on the sparrow. How much more does He care for us? He reminded me that even though I have been drawing closer to Him that I have developed a spirit of contentment and that I should not be content with where I am in my relationship with Him, that He wants to be even closer to me. And finally, He reminded me that I have brought this discouragement on myself by doubting Him. That He is in control and He is working. I cannot express the feeling of relief and joy that came over me. He is truly amazing and His mercies are new each morning. I am in awe. Oh, how He loves us.
Friday, October 2, 2009
26 Days
Only 26 days! I cannot believe how time is just flying right by. The last couple weeks were gone before I knew it! I now know the hospital process which gives me a little confidence and boy, I’m ready. I cannot wait to hold this little baby that is going to (and already has) completely change our life forever. I will never be the same person again. I have a new identity, a new responsibility, and a new outlook. I’ve never been so protective over anything and I’ve never loved something so much that I haven’t even seen. God is truly wonderful. He knew what he was doing when He thought out this process. Sure, there are ups and downs and times I think I’ll never be able to do this or go any longer but overall it’s all beautiful. My husband and I have drawn closer through it. It has increased our faith in God. We’ve learned to do things we never did before (like putting shelving in a cabinet – and yes, it was PERFECTLY level – so proud of that). I am looking forward to holding in our arms the one little reason for all these changes.
Someone very special to me has had a low-level in spirits. This person has always been a rock for me and I knew that in this little display of depression I wanted to be there for them. They are a wonderful child of God who strives daily to draw closer to Him. They are the kind of person that puts themself aside in order to do things for others to the glory of God. When I realized this friend was struggling, I immediately prayed for them, for God’s love to surround them and His joy to uplift them. I searched the scriptures and this touched me… For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV) This individual’s discouragement was a result of well-doing. They were seeking God and they let the attitudes and opinions (or lack thereof) to discourage them. This scripture touched my heart because it was just another reminder that He is the reason, the only reason. He knows the thoughts He thinks toward us and those thoughts are the only thoughts that matter. Praise and recognition from peers and leaders are great but that’s not why we do it. We live for Him because we love Him and desire to draw closer to Him and to be more like Him. I hope that my light will shine to this individual so that they know His thoughts are all that matter in this life.
I am thankful for God’s grace and mercy and the peace He has given me on this beautiful autumn day. I came into work and a million things were thrown at me. I was overwhelmed and of course as if that weren’t enough, I was having really painful contractions. Yet somehow I remained calm and collected. I thank God for giving me peace at this stage of life. He knows JUST what we need and He is always on time.
Jesus knows just what I need
Oh, He knows just what I need
He satisfies and every need He supplies
He knows just what I need
Someone very special to me has had a low-level in spirits. This person has always been a rock for me and I knew that in this little display of depression I wanted to be there for them. They are a wonderful child of God who strives daily to draw closer to Him. They are the kind of person that puts themself aside in order to do things for others to the glory of God. When I realized this friend was struggling, I immediately prayed for them, for God’s love to surround them and His joy to uplift them. I searched the scriptures and this touched me… For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV) This individual’s discouragement was a result of well-doing. They were seeking God and they let the attitudes and opinions (or lack thereof) to discourage them. This scripture touched my heart because it was just another reminder that He is the reason, the only reason. He knows the thoughts He thinks toward us and those thoughts are the only thoughts that matter. Praise and recognition from peers and leaders are great but that’s not why we do it. We live for Him because we love Him and desire to draw closer to Him and to be more like Him. I hope that my light will shine to this individual so that they know His thoughts are all that matter in this life.
I am thankful for God’s grace and mercy and the peace He has given me on this beautiful autumn day. I came into work and a million things were thrown at me. I was overwhelmed and of course as if that weren’t enough, I was having really painful contractions. Yet somehow I remained calm and collected. I thank God for giving me peace at this stage of life. He knows JUST what we need and He is always on time.
Jesus knows just what I need
Oh, He knows just what I need
He satisfies and every need He supplies
He knows just what I need
Thursday, October 1, 2009
27 Days
October is finally here!
So much has happened over the past couple days…
On Tuesday I started having this horrible pain in my abdomen. I knew it wasn’t normal. I called the dr and sure enough, contractions. They told me to go to the hospital. Mom came and got me from work (I only work about like two miles from the hospital). We got there around 11am. The contractions were three minutes apart! They checked everything else yet and said that even though I was having contractions, I wasn’t having a baby…*sigh*….oh well, maybe soon. They sent me home and told me to rest. Resting helps stop the contractions but working full time doesn’t give me any time for relaxing!
While I was there at the hospital I got the test results back for the Cholestasis testing I had done. Negative!! Yay! Instead I have PUPPS. I don’t care what it’s called, it makes me itch like crazy! They prescribed something for the itching but it makes me tired. Which is better? I haven’t decided.
Monday night was SALT. I enjoy those meetings so much and I am so sad that I will miss the next meeting. I learn so much, not only about the Bible but also about myself in those meetings. I am trying to be more disciplined for myself and my family. There is no time for being lazy anymore. I can’t afford to be lazy. It’s time to grin and bear it! Not only will I get so much more achieved but it will also make me a better individual! God is so extremely good!
So much has happened over the past couple days…
On Tuesday I started having this horrible pain in my abdomen. I knew it wasn’t normal. I called the dr and sure enough, contractions. They told me to go to the hospital. Mom came and got me from work (I only work about like two miles from the hospital). We got there around 11am. The contractions were three minutes apart! They checked everything else yet and said that even though I was having contractions, I wasn’t having a baby…*sigh*….oh well, maybe soon. They sent me home and told me to rest. Resting helps stop the contractions but working full time doesn’t give me any time for relaxing!
While I was there at the hospital I got the test results back for the Cholestasis testing I had done. Negative!! Yay! Instead I have PUPPS. I don’t care what it’s called, it makes me itch like crazy! They prescribed something for the itching but it makes me tired. Which is better? I haven’t decided.
Monday night was SALT. I enjoy those meetings so much and I am so sad that I will miss the next meeting. I learn so much, not only about the Bible but also about myself in those meetings. I am trying to be more disciplined for myself and my family. There is no time for being lazy anymore. I can’t afford to be lazy. It’s time to grin and bear it! Not only will I get so much more achieved but it will also make me a better individual! God is so extremely good!
Monday, September 28, 2009
30 Days
Today is exactly one month from my due date! I am of course, hoping he comes a little sooner than that. Two weeks early would be nice!
Friday night we went to Toys R Us to buy the stroller we wanted. I did some serious research to find out which strollers had the best reviews for the price. We went to check it out and you should have seen us trying to figure the thing out! It was hilarious! We had no idea what we were doing. After about ten minutes we finally figured out how to collapse the stroller and how to (what is that called) “pop” it back up. We decided to go ahead and get it. We looked around a little bit more and found some gliders there. I really wanted to get a glider but they are so expensive! Even used gliders are expensive. I had pretty much settled in my mind that I would just get a regular rocking chair. Anyway, while we were at Toys R Us we saw they had two gliders. One (white wood and blue upholstery – it was ugly) had a clearance sticker on it. The other (dark wood with tan upholstery – it was beautiful) didn’t have any price on it. Danny asked someone and they said that both gliders were on clearance! Then they gave us coupons, discounts, etc. and by the time all those deductions were made on both the stroller and the glider, we left paying only what the stroller cost. It was like getting the glider for free! We were so excited! It looks great in his room. I can’t wait to use it.
Saturday Danny was helping move someone and so I cleaned out Dallas’ room and started washing his clothes. I can only imagine how long it’s going to take to fold all that little stuff! I also have to figure out how to organize it all in the closet. To be honest, I’m looking forward to it.
Shanen had her baby at 1am-ish on Saturday morning so we went to the hospital to see him. He is adorable. She is doing well and is in great spirits. It made me more anxious to have Dallas. I can’t wait to see who he is. To see what he looks like and to get to know his personality. With every day I am more and more ready! Next week will be 37 weeks, once I reach that I’m praying he comes!
Wow. God is truly amazing. His blessings are unbelievable. His love is astounding. He is perfect. I would love to know why He loves us so much. Every single day He reminds me of His love and compassion for me. That He recognizes my desire and is working it out. He has done so much and I have never had faith like this in my entire life!
I don’t know why Jesus’ loves me
I don’t know why he cares
I don’t know why he sacrificed His life
Oh, but I’m glad
So glad He did
Friday night we went to Toys R Us to buy the stroller we wanted. I did some serious research to find out which strollers had the best reviews for the price. We went to check it out and you should have seen us trying to figure the thing out! It was hilarious! We had no idea what we were doing. After about ten minutes we finally figured out how to collapse the stroller and how to (what is that called) “pop” it back up. We decided to go ahead and get it. We looked around a little bit more and found some gliders there. I really wanted to get a glider but they are so expensive! Even used gliders are expensive. I had pretty much settled in my mind that I would just get a regular rocking chair. Anyway, while we were at Toys R Us we saw they had two gliders. One (white wood and blue upholstery – it was ugly) had a clearance sticker on it. The other (dark wood with tan upholstery – it was beautiful) didn’t have any price on it. Danny asked someone and they said that both gliders were on clearance! Then they gave us coupons, discounts, etc. and by the time all those deductions were made on both the stroller and the glider, we left paying only what the stroller cost. It was like getting the glider for free! We were so excited! It looks great in his room. I can’t wait to use it.
Saturday Danny was helping move someone and so I cleaned out Dallas’ room and started washing his clothes. I can only imagine how long it’s going to take to fold all that little stuff! I also have to figure out how to organize it all in the closet. To be honest, I’m looking forward to it.
Shanen had her baby at 1am-ish on Saturday morning so we went to the hospital to see him. He is adorable. She is doing well and is in great spirits. It made me more anxious to have Dallas. I can’t wait to see who he is. To see what he looks like and to get to know his personality. With every day I am more and more ready! Next week will be 37 weeks, once I reach that I’m praying he comes!
Wow. God is truly amazing. His blessings are unbelievable. His love is astounding. He is perfect. I would love to know why He loves us so much. Every single day He reminds me of His love and compassion for me. That He recognizes my desire and is working it out. He has done so much and I have never had faith like this in my entire life!
I don’t know why Jesus’ loves me
I don’t know why he cares
I don’t know why he sacrificed His life
Oh, but I’m glad
So glad He did
Friday, September 25, 2009
33 Days
To do list (to get ready for Dallas)….
1. Finish packing hospital bag
2. Wash and put away his clothes
3. Wash his bedding
4. Put away everything from the shower
5. Finish thank you cards
6. Clean out the mess in his closet
7. Buy a travel system stroller
8. Set up the car-seat
Wow. There is so much to do! I was hoping to get all of this done this weekend. Not sure if that’s really possible….we'll see!
At my last doctor appointment on Wednesday the 23rd the doctor told me that he is in position and is making his way slowly. She said it’s safe to say that I won’t go past my due date, HALLELUJAH! I also explained to her that I’ve been having some serious problems with itching all over the past month or so and she did some tests to see if I have Cholestasis, a liver disease that happens only in pregnancy due to the high amounts of pregnancy hormones. It’s something that usually goes away a few days after delivery. The only thing to be of concern on is there is a very slight increase in chance (about 1%) of stillbirth, which is why if I do have the liver disease and have not delivered by my 39th week they will induce me. I am waiting to hear the results of the test. I’m not worried, I know that regardless of the outcome of the test that God has His hand on me and on Dallas. Not to mention he blessed me with some good doctors who know what they’re doing. My doctor said she just delivered a patient with Cholestasis and has another patient due soon with Cholestasis.
God is continuing to open doors for Danny and me. It’s amazing how He gives us constant reminders that He’s working things out and that He cares. We serve SUCH a loving God! I have put my complete trust and faith in Him for every situation of life. He has never done me wrong even though I don’t deserve what He gives me. It’s so hard to comprehend that the one who gave me life loves me enough to pour out blessings and be faithful even when I haven’t been a faithful servant. He is showing me His mercy in a way I’ve never known. I want to live my life wholeheartedly for Him. Danny and I were talking about how outside of work most of our time is spend doing “Church stuff.” We came to the conclusion that we like that. We enjoy the fact that we spend our extra time working in the kingdom! Everything else (careers, education, things, activities) will pass away but the time we invest in working for Him will not pass away! We will see the benefit of our labor on the other side, is there anything more important? He is a perfect God!
Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that you're my God
Altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me
1. Finish packing hospital bag
2. Wash and put away his clothes
3. Wash his bedding
4. Put away everything from the shower
5. Finish thank you cards
6. Clean out the mess in his closet
7. Buy a travel system stroller
8. Set up the car-seat
Wow. There is so much to do! I was hoping to get all of this done this weekend. Not sure if that’s really possible….we'll see!
At my last doctor appointment on Wednesday the 23rd the doctor told me that he is in position and is making his way slowly. She said it’s safe to say that I won’t go past my due date, HALLELUJAH! I also explained to her that I’ve been having some serious problems with itching all over the past month or so and she did some tests to see if I have Cholestasis, a liver disease that happens only in pregnancy due to the high amounts of pregnancy hormones. It’s something that usually goes away a few days after delivery. The only thing to be of concern on is there is a very slight increase in chance (about 1%) of stillbirth, which is why if I do have the liver disease and have not delivered by my 39th week they will induce me. I am waiting to hear the results of the test. I’m not worried, I know that regardless of the outcome of the test that God has His hand on me and on Dallas. Not to mention he blessed me with some good doctors who know what they’re doing. My doctor said she just delivered a patient with Cholestasis and has another patient due soon with Cholestasis.
God is continuing to open doors for Danny and me. It’s amazing how He gives us constant reminders that He’s working things out and that He cares. We serve SUCH a loving God! I have put my complete trust and faith in Him for every situation of life. He has never done me wrong even though I don’t deserve what He gives me. It’s so hard to comprehend that the one who gave me life loves me enough to pour out blessings and be faithful even when I haven’t been a faithful servant. He is showing me His mercy in a way I’ve never known. I want to live my life wholeheartedly for Him. Danny and I were talking about how outside of work most of our time is spend doing “Church stuff.” We came to the conclusion that we like that. We enjoy the fact that we spend our extra time working in the kingdom! Everything else (careers, education, things, activities) will pass away but the time we invest in working for Him will not pass away! We will see the benefit of our labor on the other side, is there anything more important? He is a perfect God!
Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that you're my God
Altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
35 Days
Motherhood 101…
Everyone has been giving me advice and sharing stories. Not of labor and delivery (thank goodness) but of just what to do as a mother. How to respond, how to discipline, what to give in to, what not to give in to…it’s overwhelming. When I thought of all these things I realized that many contradicted the other. Some prefer time-outs, some prefer spanking. Some think you should start potty training at a certain age, others say let him decide when he’s ready. Oh, the advice goes on and on. I was worried. What would we do? How would we decide which is best? Then I realized, all of these people have great kids. Some of them are my friends! It made me wonder, “Is there a right or wrong way?” No. There can’t be. Whatever Danny and I decide will work and will be our way. I tend to look at the way I was raised and think that’s the way we’ll do it. Danny and I have pretty much the same thoughts but when these situations are real and not hypothetical, who knows?!? I don’t know how we’ll react. All we can do is pray for wisdom in dealing with situations, good and bad. I’m sure that we’ll figure it out just fine.
And then, I am anxious to see how I feel about things. Some moms say they are bored out of their minds being at home with their baby because all the baby does is sleep. Other moms I talk to say they loved and enjoyed that time, wouldn’t trade it for anything. How will I feel? Will I be bored? Will I wish I could keep him little like that forever? Will it be a combination of the two? I don’t know. I can’t wait to find out!!!
There are so many unknowns right now. I am ready to know!
Sometimes I wish people understood more about my life. I think people think Danny and I are a quiet couple who stay home and enjoy the relaxation. When in reality we are the total opposite. Almost every night there is something going on and there are people at our house all the time. We are always on the go and until recently (I’m so tired all the time now) there were many days we left for work in the morning and didn’t get home until late (props to Mom for letting our dog out for us). There was no time to go home. I love that craziness. I love being with friends, family, church. It’s really all I know and it’s all important to me. I am looking forward to the break though. The peace and quiet. The relaxation of Danny and I being home together with Dallas for a few weeks. People tell me to enjoy the peace and quiet now but I haven’t known peace and quiet…..maybe ever. Sure there are times when we feel like we’re going to crash if we don’t take a break, but for the most part we are Energizer bunnies! This has always been a part of my life and it most likely will always be! God has provided us with opportunities to serve Him and to dismiss those would be sad and just plain ungrateful. We love serving Him and His kingdom. What else really matters? Anything else I do is in vain. He is all I want, all I need, and all I have in this life. Moments, things, and people pass away but He is always constant. He is always there!
Random thought...
I could really go for some waffles, hash browns, and bacon right now.
Everyone has been giving me advice and sharing stories. Not of labor and delivery (thank goodness) but of just what to do as a mother. How to respond, how to discipline, what to give in to, what not to give in to…it’s overwhelming. When I thought of all these things I realized that many contradicted the other. Some prefer time-outs, some prefer spanking. Some think you should start potty training at a certain age, others say let him decide when he’s ready. Oh, the advice goes on and on. I was worried. What would we do? How would we decide which is best? Then I realized, all of these people have great kids. Some of them are my friends! It made me wonder, “Is there a right or wrong way?” No. There can’t be. Whatever Danny and I decide will work and will be our way. I tend to look at the way I was raised and think that’s the way we’ll do it. Danny and I have pretty much the same thoughts but when these situations are real and not hypothetical, who knows?!? I don’t know how we’ll react. All we can do is pray for wisdom in dealing with situations, good and bad. I’m sure that we’ll figure it out just fine.
And then, I am anxious to see how I feel about things. Some moms say they are bored out of their minds being at home with their baby because all the baby does is sleep. Other moms I talk to say they loved and enjoyed that time, wouldn’t trade it for anything. How will I feel? Will I be bored? Will I wish I could keep him little like that forever? Will it be a combination of the two? I don’t know. I can’t wait to find out!!!
There are so many unknowns right now. I am ready to know!
Sometimes I wish people understood more about my life. I think people think Danny and I are a quiet couple who stay home and enjoy the relaxation. When in reality we are the total opposite. Almost every night there is something going on and there are people at our house all the time. We are always on the go and until recently (I’m so tired all the time now) there were many days we left for work in the morning and didn’t get home until late (props to Mom for letting our dog out for us). There was no time to go home. I love that craziness. I love being with friends, family, church. It’s really all I know and it’s all important to me. I am looking forward to the break though. The peace and quiet. The relaxation of Danny and I being home together with Dallas for a few weeks. People tell me to enjoy the peace and quiet now but I haven’t known peace and quiet…..maybe ever. Sure there are times when we feel like we’re going to crash if we don’t take a break, but for the most part we are Energizer bunnies! This has always been a part of my life and it most likely will always be! God has provided us with opportunities to serve Him and to dismiss those would be sad and just plain ungrateful. We love serving Him and His kingdom. What else really matters? Anything else I do is in vain. He is all I want, all I need, and all I have in this life. Moments, things, and people pass away but He is always constant. He is always there!
Random thought...
I could really go for some waffles, hash browns, and bacon right now.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
36 Days
Exhausted, fatigued, worn out, beat…..all words to describe how I feel right now. The past two nights I was actually able to sleep, so naturally I would assume that I would feel a little more awake. No, not at all. I’m starting to accept the fact that I’m going to feel this way until the end. I have to get used to being tired, not being able to breathe, feeling stiff, and having swollen feet. Once I sit or lie down I feel like it’s not worth moving lol. It’s too much work and hurts too much. God has truly blessed me with an understanding husband who recognizes when I need to just be “lazy” or go to bed. He is so understanding and I’m so appreciative.
I am really looking forward to being a stay at home mom. Not only for the blessing of being able to raise the child God has given us, but also to be a blessing to my husband. Last night when Danny got home from the gym the house was not only cleaned up but smelled good and felt home-y, with candles burning (that always adds a lot). There isn’t a more “empty” feeling then coming home to an empty house and there is no better feeling after a long day then coming home to a house that’s cleaned up, smells lovely, and feels warm. I remember this from living at home. I loved coming home when mom was there (she usually was) and the dinner was cooking, the candles were lit, it felt like home. I can’t wait to create this atmosphere for Danny on a daily basis. I know he will enjoy it thoroughly. He’ll never want me to leave the house (which is fine with me lol, I’ve sort of become a home-body over the past year).
Today is the first day of Autumn, which is exciting. I absolutely LOVE Autumn. It is without a doubt my favorite season. I love the leaves, the smells, the sweaters, the boots….all of it. And knowing Christmas is coming is a bonus. One of the best things about fall though is Thanksgiving. Is there anything more exciting than gathering with family around a table full of FABULOUS food and enjoying the time together? I enjoy it year after year and can’t wait for Thanksgiving this year. I have so much to be thankful for. And I will have even more to be thankful for by then! God is so good to me, I cannot ever list the abundant blessings He has given me. But if I could only list one thing to thank Him for, it would simply be to thank Him for who He is. Words cannot express how perfect He is.
I am really looking forward to being a stay at home mom. Not only for the blessing of being able to raise the child God has given us, but also to be a blessing to my husband. Last night when Danny got home from the gym the house was not only cleaned up but smelled good and felt home-y, with candles burning (that always adds a lot). There isn’t a more “empty” feeling then coming home to an empty house and there is no better feeling after a long day then coming home to a house that’s cleaned up, smells lovely, and feels warm. I remember this from living at home. I loved coming home when mom was there (she usually was) and the dinner was cooking, the candles were lit, it felt like home. I can’t wait to create this atmosphere for Danny on a daily basis. I know he will enjoy it thoroughly. He’ll never want me to leave the house (which is fine with me lol, I’ve sort of become a home-body over the past year).
Today is the first day of Autumn, which is exciting. I absolutely LOVE Autumn. It is without a doubt my favorite season. I love the leaves, the smells, the sweaters, the boots….all of it. And knowing Christmas is coming is a bonus. One of the best things about fall though is Thanksgiving. Is there anything more exciting than gathering with family around a table full of FABULOUS food and enjoying the time together? I enjoy it year after year and can’t wait for Thanksgiving this year. I have so much to be thankful for. And I will have even more to be thankful for by then! God is so good to me, I cannot ever list the abundant blessings He has given me. But if I could only list one thing to thank Him for, it would simply be to thank Him for who He is. Words cannot express how perfect He is.
Monday, September 21, 2009
37 Days
The weekend is over? I can't believe it's Monday already. I had a great weekend full of fun. Sight and Sound was awesome. I thought the Angels wearing heely's was hilarious, and there was something peculiar about Adam and Eve's wedding but overall it was superb as Sight and Sound always is! Saturday was my baby shower at church. It was so beautiful (thanks to my incredible mom) and I got so many things (thanks to my loving church family). We are getting so close to having everything ready, it’s almost scary! I know it’s real and coming fast! We got a lot of clothes (thank goodness because the kid had nothing to wear) and blankets, diapers, bottle warmer, etc. I know I’ll forget something so why continue? One of the best gifts I got was Laura being there. It was something so special and something I will never forget. I am planning to put some pictures up soon!
The baby is moving as much as ever. I'm going to talk to my doctor on Wednesday about some "symptoms" I am having that worry me about going into labor sooner than planned. I'm sure it's all in my head and means nothing but I'll admit I'm a worry-wart lol. So, to be on the safe side, I'm going to ask. I still cannot sleep at night which makes for some long days and usually by the time I get home from work I want to crash on the couch but there is so much to do all the time! It's mainly exciting stuff (for Dallas) so that makes it a little easier.
God is so good! His blessings are so unbelievable! I have never in all my life felt so close to him. He continues to show me things in my life that I never knew before. He is my everything and I want my life to reflect Him! As I have drawn closer to God I have also drawn closer to my husband. We have become more of a “team” recently and it’s awesome. I know this is all in our desire to draw closer to Him and also to see him work in our lives.
For with God nothing shall be impossible. Luke 1:37
This scripture has proven itself true recently in my life. God is showing me that through my faith and dedication He is working to create what seemed like an “impossible” situation to a possible situation! He has given me the desire to wait on Him and trust in Him and slowly but surely He has started to work things out. I cannot even put into words how excited I am or even how thankful I am. This is just such an awesome time in my life and God is working things out to make it even better! I am sooooooooo thrilled!
My God is more than enough
He can supply all my needs
He is my El Shaddai
He always looks out for me
Jehovah Jirah he is my God
The baby is moving as much as ever. I'm going to talk to my doctor on Wednesday about some "symptoms" I am having that worry me about going into labor sooner than planned. I'm sure it's all in my head and means nothing but I'll admit I'm a worry-wart lol. So, to be on the safe side, I'm going to ask. I still cannot sleep at night which makes for some long days and usually by the time I get home from work I want to crash on the couch but there is so much to do all the time! It's mainly exciting stuff (for Dallas) so that makes it a little easier.
God is so good! His blessings are so unbelievable! I have never in all my life felt so close to him. He continues to show me things in my life that I never knew before. He is my everything and I want my life to reflect Him! As I have drawn closer to God I have also drawn closer to my husband. We have become more of a “team” recently and it’s awesome. I know this is all in our desire to draw closer to Him and also to see him work in our lives.
For with God nothing shall be impossible. Luke 1:37
This scripture has proven itself true recently in my life. God is showing me that through my faith and dedication He is working to create what seemed like an “impossible” situation to a possible situation! He has given me the desire to wait on Him and trust in Him and slowly but surely He has started to work things out. I cannot even put into words how excited I am or even how thankful I am. This is just such an awesome time in my life and God is working things out to make it even better! I am sooooooooo thrilled!
My God is more than enough
He can supply all my needs
He is my El Shaddai
He always looks out for me
Jehovah Jirah he is my God
Friday, September 18, 2009
40 Days
Wow! This weekend is almost here and I’m so excited. Tonight we're going to Sight & Sound which I LOVE! Tomorrow is the baby shower at church and I can’t wait! I love baby stuff. Danny is leaving super early in the morning to go to a Penn State game with Dad and some guys from church. They won’t get back until later which will be good because I want to put everything away! I’m so anxious to get everything done/set up so that all I’m waiting for is Dallas.
Last night Danny and I had a heart-to-heart talk about a lot of things going on. I poured it out to him (emotionally charged, I know lol) and he listened. I am so appreciative to God. He continues to DAILY renew me and to show me His love, His mercy, His awesome ways. I am amazed at how much more I fall in love with Him every day! I don’t know why He blesses me, but He does.
I feel like Danny and I are on the same page with a lot of things now. Not that we were disagreeing but we just chose not to talk about certain things. I feel like a weight has been lifted from me and I slept soooooo well last night. Peace of mind is a beautiful thing.
One of the many blessings God has given me is such a loving, caring, thoughtful husband. I never have to be concerned with finances. I never have to be concerned that he won’t come home. I know he is always going to be there and will always provide. Many people doubted us in the beginning but God knew what He was doing. He blessed me with a lovely person who cares for me and has evolved into a great man of God.
I am so glad that I have committed my life 100% to God, to His kingdom. Is that why He blesses me? I don’t know! I don't understand His ways. I don’t deserve it, that’s for sure! But I do believe He honors faithfulness and I have faithfully dedicated myself to Him. There is nothing else in this life that is worth living for. Only Him.
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song,
give You all of my praise.
You hold on to all my pain;
with it You are pulling me closer
and pulling me into Your ways.
Last night Danny and I had a heart-to-heart talk about a lot of things going on. I poured it out to him (emotionally charged, I know lol) and he listened. I am so appreciative to God. He continues to DAILY renew me and to show me His love, His mercy, His awesome ways. I am amazed at how much more I fall in love with Him every day! I don’t know why He blesses me, but He does.
I feel like Danny and I are on the same page with a lot of things now. Not that we were disagreeing but we just chose not to talk about certain things. I feel like a weight has been lifted from me and I slept soooooo well last night. Peace of mind is a beautiful thing.
One of the many blessings God has given me is such a loving, caring, thoughtful husband. I never have to be concerned with finances. I never have to be concerned that he won’t come home. I know he is always going to be there and will always provide. Many people doubted us in the beginning but God knew what He was doing. He blessed me with a lovely person who cares for me and has evolved into a great man of God.
I am so glad that I have committed my life 100% to God, to His kingdom. Is that why He blesses me? I don’t know! I don't understand His ways. I don’t deserve it, that’s for sure! But I do believe He honors faithfulness and I have faithfully dedicated myself to Him. There is nothing else in this life that is worth living for. Only Him.
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song,
give You all of my praise.
You hold on to all my pain;
with it You are pulling me closer
and pulling me into Your ways.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
41 Days
I am finally on the downside of six weeks, definitely a milestone for me. Looking forward to finalizing everything. I’m glad I didn’t do too much in the beginning. If everything was done, I would be so bored!
We keep Dallas’ door shut because we don’t want the cats in there. Since it’s shut, we rarely remember that it’s so awesome there. But every now and then I’ll walk over to the laundry room and I get this urge to go inside the room. I open the door and look around, imagining what it will be like when he’s here. I sit down on a box on the floor and day dream. I think about all the sleepless nights…about holding him…staring at him…feeding him…the crying…the smiling…the first time I hear him laugh…reading to him…playing with him…watching him sleep…………all these amazing things I’ve been waiting for and planning for over the past 34 weeks. This “dream” is about to become a reality. It is going to change our lives forever. It’s not going to be about us anymore. No more jumping in the car and running off somewhere. There will be diapers and a million other things I have to be sure I have with us.
I have this “idea” of how I want his life to be. It’s not perfect, but it’s close. I want to be there 100%. To witness all the beautiful things he’ll do for the first time in these first couple years. I can’t imagine leaving someone I have had closer than close to me for the past nine months. I can’t imagine having to wonder what he’s doing, if he’s crying, if he’s happy, if he’s scared. I want to be there, to take care of it for him. I can’t bear the thought of it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million more times, I am trusting in God 110% to provide and make my desire a reality. I was told it was a selfish wish but I’ve come to believe that it’s a selfless desire. This is all about someone other than myself and making sure that they are taken care of and comfortable. After all, God has given us the responsibility and no one else. I will have to answer for how I handle the responsibility.
God has shown me in the past couple months that He hears me and He loves me, all in a way I’ve never known. The following song is a constant reminder of this…
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call
He has blessed us (Danny and me) beyond comprehension and when I think of all the things He has done or made a way for, it helps me to know and NOT TO DOUBT that this desire of my heart will come to pass. Thank you Jesus for hearing me when I call.
We keep Dallas’ door shut because we don’t want the cats in there. Since it’s shut, we rarely remember that it’s so awesome there. But every now and then I’ll walk over to the laundry room and I get this urge to go inside the room. I open the door and look around, imagining what it will be like when he’s here. I sit down on a box on the floor and day dream. I think about all the sleepless nights…about holding him…staring at him…feeding him…the crying…the smiling…the first time I hear him laugh…reading to him…playing with him…watching him sleep…………all these amazing things I’ve been waiting for and planning for over the past 34 weeks. This “dream” is about to become a reality. It is going to change our lives forever. It’s not going to be about us anymore. No more jumping in the car and running off somewhere. There will be diapers and a million other things I have to be sure I have with us.
I have this “idea” of how I want his life to be. It’s not perfect, but it’s close. I want to be there 100%. To witness all the beautiful things he’ll do for the first time in these first couple years. I can’t imagine leaving someone I have had closer than close to me for the past nine months. I can’t imagine having to wonder what he’s doing, if he’s crying, if he’s happy, if he’s scared. I want to be there, to take care of it for him. I can’t bear the thought of it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million more times, I am trusting in God 110% to provide and make my desire a reality. I was told it was a selfish wish but I’ve come to believe that it’s a selfless desire. This is all about someone other than myself and making sure that they are taken care of and comfortable. After all, God has given us the responsibility and no one else. I will have to answer for how I handle the responsibility.
God has shown me in the past couple months that He hears me and He loves me, all in a way I’ve never known. The following song is a constant reminder of this…
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And hears me when I call
He has blessed us (Danny and me) beyond comprehension and when I think of all the things He has done or made a way for, it helps me to know and NOT TO DOUBT that this desire of my heart will come to pass. Thank you Jesus for hearing me when I call.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
43 Days
Still six weeks to go....seems like an eternity.
This past weekend we got most of Dallas' room finished. All that's left to do is put things away but I'm going to wait until after the shower this coming weekend. We also need to get some things to put up on the walls, they are so bare. We have a few "creative" ideas.
Unfortunately on Sunday I got sick which kind of threw the rest of our plans off for working in his room but overall it looks good. When I first felt sick I was sooooo worried thinking I was getting the flu....or worse, swine flu! I put it out of my head and luckily today I'm feeling about 80%.
I am officially, completlely, without a doubt, 100% tired of this. I'm ready for him to come. I enjoy feeling him move and I love how cute it is when he has the hiccups but I'm just done with everything else. The itching, the back pain, not ever feeling comfortable, not being able to breathe, still feeling sick at my stomach, etc. It's kind of scary to me that I have to go through at least another six weeks but Danny told me today that he thinks Dallas could come early. Not sure why that makes me feel better, he's no doctor lol....but it does.
Last night we went out to dinner with my uncle from Tennessee. He was in town on business so we met up with him. We had the most interesting conversation about religion/relationship with God. It got be thinking in ways I never had before. It also made me realize how thankful I am for my relationship with God. I want to be careful though that religion doesn't get in the way. I love our church and our organization but it's so easy to get caught up in those things that we lose sight of what's really important. I am making it a point to sing Heart of Worship everyday (maybe twice on the days I'm a little stressed out over church stuff lol) to keep me in check. To remind myself that it's all about Him and it's all for Him. Programs and set-up will pass away but true worship in what I say and do will not pass away.
This past weekend we got most of Dallas' room finished. All that's left to do is put things away but I'm going to wait until after the shower this coming weekend. We also need to get some things to put up on the walls, they are so bare. We have a few "creative" ideas.
Unfortunately on Sunday I got sick which kind of threw the rest of our plans off for working in his room but overall it looks good. When I first felt sick I was sooooo worried thinking I was getting the flu....or worse, swine flu! I put it out of my head and luckily today I'm feeling about 80%.
I am officially, completlely, without a doubt, 100% tired of this. I'm ready for him to come. I enjoy feeling him move and I love how cute it is when he has the hiccups but I'm just done with everything else. The itching, the back pain, not ever feeling comfortable, not being able to breathe, still feeling sick at my stomach, etc. It's kind of scary to me that I have to go through at least another six weeks but Danny told me today that he thinks Dallas could come early. Not sure why that makes me feel better, he's no doctor lol....but it does.
Last night we went out to dinner with my uncle from Tennessee. He was in town on business so we met up with him. We had the most interesting conversation about religion/relationship with God. It got be thinking in ways I never had before. It also made me realize how thankful I am for my relationship with God. I want to be careful though that religion doesn't get in the way. I love our church and our organization but it's so easy to get caught up in those things that we lose sight of what's really important. I am making it a point to sing Heart of Worship everyday (maybe twice on the days I'm a little stressed out over church stuff lol) to keep me in check. To remind myself that it's all about Him and it's all for Him. Programs and set-up will pass away but true worship in what I say and do will not pass away.
Friday, September 11, 2009
47 Days
Today isn't necessarily about baby things. Tonight Danny and I are having something for the young people called PDF Night (stands for - prayer, discussion, fellowship) in an effort to encourage their spiritual journey and group harmony. The prayer and fellowship parts don't really involve planning as they happen organically however, we needed to come up with a discussion. Danny has been extrememly busy with work and trying to do things around the house (isn't it amazing how you buy a brand new house thinking it won't need work because it's new and you find yourself fixing things constantly) so I offered to come up with a discussion. I had something that I felt would be appropriate however, in my devotion this morning the Lord gave me something that I wouldn't necessarily have chosen but makes sense.
We are like lab rats...going through the motions, generally for someone else's gain. Sure, we as humans work to make the money, but the work itself isn't necessarily beneficial to us, it puts stress and strain on our lives. Because of how mundane it becomes, it's easy to grow weak. It is common sense that when you are weak it's very easy for things to come against you and even take you down. Ephesians 6:10-13 is a lovely passage that many of us know and think, "Oh yeah! We're going to fight the devil!", when in reality it's not about fighting, it's about preparing. We all deal with the evils of this world and when we're weak, we can not adequately stand up to it. Being strong in the Lord, putting on the WHOLE armour of God, that is what keeps us and what prepares us. So whether it's just another situation or a real battle, we are prepared for victory!
God is so good! I am drawing closer every day and it's so exciting as He reveals things to me. Things that I understood differently because of my own self, but He has shown me its intent and its purpose. I want to live a life of purpose, not just going to through the motions! There is a wonderful song by Matthew West called "The Motions" that talks just about this very thing which in turn, relates to the passage of scripture that the Lord gave me this morning...
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
We are like lab rats...going through the motions, generally for someone else's gain. Sure, we as humans work to make the money, but the work itself isn't necessarily beneficial to us, it puts stress and strain on our lives. Because of how mundane it becomes, it's easy to grow weak. It is common sense that when you are weak it's very easy for things to come against you and even take you down. Ephesians 6:10-13 is a lovely passage that many of us know and think, "Oh yeah! We're going to fight the devil!", when in reality it's not about fighting, it's about preparing. We all deal with the evils of this world and when we're weak, we can not adequately stand up to it. Being strong in the Lord, putting on the WHOLE armour of God, that is what keeps us and what prepares us. So whether it's just another situation or a real battle, we are prepared for victory!
God is so good! I am drawing closer every day and it's so exciting as He reveals things to me. Things that I understood differently because of my own self, but He has shown me its intent and its purpose. I want to live a life of purpose, not just going to through the motions! There is a wonderful song by Matthew West called "The Motions" that talks just about this very thing which in turn, relates to the passage of scripture that the Lord gave me this morning...
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
Thursday, September 10, 2009
48 Days
Well, yesterday was my appointment and it looks like he isn't growing as fast now so he's back almost to where he should be. I'm okay with that, I was worried about how big he might be! I asked the doctor about the timeframe and she said they will be able to tell at my appointment the first week of October. She said if I pass my due date they will schedule an induction after 41 weeks. My grandma and uncle are coming the week he's due so I'm hoping and praying he comes then!
We're going to try to finish Dallas' room this weekend. We still have to put the rest of the wallborder up, hang the curtain, finish the hutch shelves, and clean out the closet. Then everything will be finished!
I'm so looking forward to this exciting time in my life! This morning I was not necessarily feeling the best but I mean, when I look at all God has given me and done for me I know He's smiling down on me which means so much. I have put so much time, effort, and sacrifice into the kingdom over the years and although at times it feels like you're taken advantage of or what you're doing isn't appreciated, I look at the blessings in my life and I realize that God sees and He's the one I'm doing it for anyway. Every day I fall in love with Him more and more and I can't believe how good He is. I am so unworthy yet His mercy edureth!
We're going to try to finish Dallas' room this weekend. We still have to put the rest of the wallborder up, hang the curtain, finish the hutch shelves, and clean out the closet. Then everything will be finished!
I'm so looking forward to this exciting time in my life! This morning I was not necessarily feeling the best but I mean, when I look at all God has given me and done for me I know He's smiling down on me which means so much. I have put so much time, effort, and sacrifice into the kingdom over the years and although at times it feels like you're taken advantage of or what you're doing isn't appreciated, I look at the blessings in my life and I realize that God sees and He's the one I'm doing it for anyway. Every day I fall in love with Him more and more and I can't believe how good He is. I am so unworthy yet His mercy edureth!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
49 Days
33 weeks....49 days seems like forever. I thought perhaps a blog may help the time pass.....anything to help the time pass seems like a good idea.
This picture is from the 31 week ultrasound I had done. Apparently Dallas is measuring slightly larger than he should be which is why the ultrasound was ordered. He is measuring just under two weeks ahead but I won't know until my appointment today if they are going to change the due date. Probably not. He weighed 4 1/2 lbs when this was done two weeks ago.
Going to the doctor at 2:45pm today. Looking forward to hearing what they have to say about the ultrasound. I'm also going to ask if they have any idea time-wise yet...hopefully they'll be able to give me some idea. I just can't wait to hold him.
This picture is from the 31 week ultrasound I had done. Apparently Dallas is measuring slightly larger than he should be which is why the ultrasound was ordered. He is measuring just under two weeks ahead but I won't know until my appointment today if they are going to change the due date. Probably not. He weighed 4 1/2 lbs when this was done two weeks ago.
Going to the doctor at 2:45pm today. Looking forward to hearing what they have to say about the ultrasound. I'm also going to ask if they have any idea time-wise yet...hopefully they'll be able to give me some idea. I just can't wait to hold him.
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